Anyway, though, seriously, folks. This kid is wild and crazy and will probably die by flinging himself in front of a midtown bus until he realizes that it isn't moving. Then he might try to throw himself over a sandy cliff, only to land face down on the beach. Then, while cracking open another, he will say to himself: What a wonderful wor----****ralph!****

Okay. That's it. Go get wasted in memory of me.